Tigana - Guy Gavriel Kay This is a review with pictures in it. I see people doing this, and I want to as well. I can haz cats also, yes?

Yes, I am jealous. I want to be one of the cool kids.

Anyway, this ye old secondary world fantasy, with maps and kingdoms princes and things and everything.

I want to go on a quest too!

No, not like that, silly. It is Deep and Melancholy and Meaningful. Like this:
Swoon with Horse

Do you SEE? It is FUZZY and PASTEL COLORED and there is BOOBS. That means it is PROFOUND.

Women in this book are not marginalized onto these pedestals replete with bizzaro stupid sexualization for no discernable reason (except BOOBS) like this

sexy Me. Potatoe Head makes so much sense, doesn't it?

but for complex things about THEMES. IT IS LIKE FUCKING SHAKESPEARE, YO.

Themes:

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Doctor Who has Themes.

(Look, I believe in equal opportunity eye-candy, yes?)


This all the MORE DEEPER, because it is PURPLE.

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There are also other themes, except BOOBS.


For example, there is FREEDOM and IDENTITY and NATION-THINGY-NESS.

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This is INEFFABLE and SAD, because, you see, once there were SONGS, and now there are NO MORE SONGS. And there is MEMORY. SECRET MEMORY. And it is SAD.

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BUT! Fear not, brave readers. Where there is PROFOUND SAD and BOOBS, there are...

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No, unfortunately there are no X-Men.

But there are MEN.

REAL MEN.
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But also not like that. Not ALL testoroney and nasty and things.

No, these real men SING.

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And are NICE TO ANIMALS. And are NICE TO WIMMINZ. Whom they make CRY. But with JOY.

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Well, SAD JOY. This is DEEP.

So, folk, it's ok - we can sit back and marvel at these men be men. Sometimes, they kill people or take people prisoner or are generally nasty and shit, but it's OK because IT HURTS THEM IN THEIR HEART.

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Poor Troy.

The point is, a little bit of judicious forgivable killing is what forges the MANLY HEART.

Forged on the CRUCIBLE. Of WAR. Into MEN.

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And it SAD. But with JOY, also.

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(This book is very long.

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All right, it is also very thick.)

So we have the MEN who weep INSIDE, and the WOMEN, who weep OUTSIDE, and the LAND that weeps to be REDEEMED.

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Oh, the GLORY of the PAIN. And the RESOLVE. The STEELY resolve. Tempered by the CAMRADERIE. Of WAR. Of MEN.

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BUT! I don't know if they win. Because I didn't finish the book. Because I was overwhelmed.

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Yes, also because I swooned with all the TRAGIC MANLINESS,

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but also because,

well,

fuck the fascists.


Also,

well,

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Purple.



Over and out.

Good god this takes forever.


Since I'm here anyway, hot-dude-spam, k? It's like a palette cleanser and makes me feel better after this book.


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Sexy George Orwell. And he didn't even sing.

I would have stayed in tiny Paris garrets and drunk cheap red wine with you while getting tuberculosis anyday, Eric.

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Commodity fetish, you say, Young Karl Marx?

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Jaquen H'ghar is the sexiest ASOIAF character it is known shut up ok?